As exam time approaches for our Grade 7 and 8 students, it’s important to recognize that many may experience test-related stress and anxiety. Feeling nervous or uneasy before an exam is completely normal and, in most cases, to be expected. It’s a natural response to a stressful situation and often shows that your child cares about doing well.
Anxiety can show up in many ways, such as a racing heart, stomach aches, difficulty sleeping, or changes in mood. These reactions can feel overwhelming in the moment, but they usually pass once the test is over. As parents and educators, the way we respond to these feelings can greatly impact how children manage their anxiety. Our words are powerful, and the way we support and speak to our children about their worries can help them feel more understood and better equipped to cope.
Here are a few ways that parents can support their children through their exams:
Normalize Anxious Feelings
Let your child know that feeling nervous or anxious before an exam is completely normal! In fact, these feelings can be motivating and can also be expected when one cares about succeeding in an area of importance. When you openly share your own experiences of exam-taking and how you too have felt nervous, it helps children understand that these emotions are not only common but manageable. It’s essential for children to hear from us that their feelings are valid and understood.
Encourage a Growth Mindset
Your language has a direct impact on how your child views themselves in relation to their performance. Remind them that tests are just one measure of their learning, not a reflection of their worth or abilities. Celebrate their effort, progress and the steps they’ve taken rather than focusing solely on the outcome. By framing learning as a journey rather than an evaluation, we can help children build resilience in the face of challenges.
Practise Relaxation Techniques
The language we use around stress management can be just as important as the techniques themselves. Try using calming, soothing words when talking about relaxation techniques like deep breathing or grounding exercises. Consider saying, “Let’s take a few deep breaths together,” rather than focusing on how anxious they might feel. This fosters a sense of calm and control, showing them that they have tools at their disposal to manage their feelings.
Create a Calm and Organized Test Day Routine
Help eliminate unnecessary stress by setting clear expectations around exam day routines. Speak about the morning with calmness and confidence, reinforcing positive habits like getting enough sleep, having a healthy breakfast and preparing materials the night before. This not only eases logistical stress but also reassures your child that they are prepared and capable.
Celebrate Effort Over Outcome
After the test, regardless of the results, be sure to praise your child’s hard work and effort. Remind them that their value and abilities are not determined by an exam score. By emphasizing effort over outcome, we can reduce pressure and help them focus on the process of learning. Using encouraging language, such as, “I’m proud of the effort you put in,” rather than, “I hope you did well,” helps shift the focus to growth and self-improvement.
Please bear in mind that the goal is not just to help students perform well, but to equip them with the skills and mindset to handle the challenges that come with testing — and in life. That said, if your child’s anxiety is starting to affect their daily routine or functioning, or if you would like additional resources, we are here to help. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us, your child’s Mechanech/et, teacher, or Vice Principal.
Suzy Brotman, Himel Branch Social Worker
Rachel Srebrolow, Viewmount Branch Social Worker